I am negative.  I am so tired of struggling to exist. Yeah, for a VERY short time in my life I was able to spend money when I needed or wanted to.  It wasn't even my money.  I have never really achieved anything, and it seems unlikely that I ever will.  I have a dead end job, that I will probably lose soon.  I have no money to go back to school and don't even know if I could hack it if I did go back. I can answer lots of trivia questions, big fucking deal. It has never helped me in my life. I'm fat, I'm sick and I have no self worth at all.  I feel like I ruined my kids chances in life. Wasted 20 years of my ex husband's life and am currently ruining my new partner's life.  I already spent his inheritance.  Why should I believe? Why should I, for one single second believe everything will be ok? Just because it has always worked out.  Just ask a mathematician, past out come has no effect on future results.