I haven't been writing..doesn't matter nobody reads this anyway.  I am going to Canada in nine days. I really can't wait. I love to be in Canada. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because some of the best memories of the four of us being a family are from our Canada vacations. This time is different. I'm going with my new partner and my son and his fiancee. It will be bittersweet.  I am happy now but in a way I wish we could have worked it all out. I don't miss my ex I miss what we could have been as a family. A happy couple two happy kids..it would have been nice but it didn't go that way.  Now I am part of a happy couple and I hope my kids are happy more often than not. I'm glad I am done with that part of my life. We did what we could, it didn't work. That's how life is. I hope I learned enough to make it work now..so far, so very good.