I haven't been writing..doesn't matter nobody reads this anyway.  I am going to Canada in nine days. I really can't wait. I love to be in Canada. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because some of the best memories of the four of us being a family are from our Canada vacations. This time is different. I'm going with my new partner and my son and his fiancee. It will be bittersweet.  I am happy now but in a way I wish we could have worked it all out. I don't miss my ex I miss what we could have been as a family. A happy couple two happy kids..it would have been nice but it didn't go that way.  Now I am part of a happy couple and I hope my kids are happy more often than not. I'm glad I am done with that part of my life. We did what we could, it didn't work. That's how life is. I hope I learned enough to make it work now..so far, so very good.

Blood Sugar

Last Sunday I had another breathing issue so I went to urgent care and had a nebulizer treatment and my blood sugar taken.  My sugar was 219. Today I saw my regular Dr. who said he felt that the meds I was given for the diabetes weren't necessary but he did prescribe a glucose meter. I took my readings twice today and they have been pretty normal. So I think I am still doing well. I just have to get this breathing thing down so I can get on with trying to lose some weight.  I've been trying that all my life and have failed up to this point.  I'm hoping that my new happier surroundings don't make me more lazy.  I'd love to get under 200lbs before I die.  The poor people who have to carry my body out will get hernias.  Here is hoping once again that I can show a little self control and take care of myself for real this time. Now, off to eat the chocolate covered strawberry my honey got me for Valentine's Day...yes just one.

Water

I consider myself pretty environmentally friendly. I turn off lights, unplug power strips, use re-useable bags when I shop but when it comes to water, sometimes I just cant help but be wasteful.  I love a hot shower, it doesn't matter how big the water heater I will empty it in one go. I can stand under the magical flow and go into a little snooze as the water just fills me with warmth. My old skin gets so dry and I'm keeping lotion companies from bankruptcy but I can't stop.  I have the exhaust fan on and yet the room fills with steam, which is just an added benefit in my opinion. When I'm done I wrap myself in a fuzzy towel and just stand there breathing in the steam and feeling the warmth as my body warms the towel. I know my water bill would be a bit less painful if I'd stop this habit, but I doubt I will anytime soon. My mother would tell you this is a habit I've had from early childhood. I would play in the bath or the kitchen sink for hours. She loves to tell people how she could go on with her motherly duties of cooking and laundry as long as I had some water to play with. It would probably shock me to know just how many gallons I've wasted over the years. In 1972 we got a swimming pool which saved many hours on the garden hose but I'd still let the bath fill up, get cold then drain and fill it again after swimming all day. I've been found staring into the washing machine, watching streams flow by and my favorite spot on earth so far is Niagara Falls.  I find it odd that I don't like to drink water more than I do. "They" say the water will run out someday.. I hope I'm long gone before then.  I wonder if  Buddah is right.. I'd like to come back as a dolphin.

Jan 22,2012

Well this weekend could have gone better.  My car had a minor problem which turned into a major headache. Hopefully it will be fixed by Tuesday. I still have to go find a rim to get a spare in the car. The Penguins won all three games this weekend which was awesome and I got a Theissy poo poo bobble head for my Pens shelf. I've been watching TV most of the day trying to get past the issues I caused myself by not taking care of my diabetes properly yesterday. The joys of diabetes compounded with IBS..you just can't imagine. What I eat is almost always good for one disease and bad for the other. Half the time I wish they could put me on an IV and I could skip eating all together. Which brings me back to the TV. I'm watching a TLC show called freaky eaters. It's about people who do strange things like eat only french fries, or put tartar sauce or maple syrup on everything. It always comes down to a mental issue. Food is such a terrible problem to deal with for one reason I've said before...you can live without everything else you get addicted to..you can't live without food. It's a matter of management and so many people, including me don't have the skills. The people who try to help don't really understand, or at least the people I've come across don't. It's a one day at a time. This weekend was rough but I'm hoping for better days soon. First time flying solo on the new job tomorrow. GULP!!